My Approach.
I aim to bring warmth, humility, and curiosity into every session together. I see myself not as someone who has arrived or has the answers, but as a loving guide helping you uncover the wisdom within you.
Understanding your story allows you to transform your story.
I focus a lot on story in my work. What that means is that I believe that much of what we believe about ourselves and about our world is learned. What we learn impacts the way we see and respond to ourselves, others, and the world around us. It might be helpful to think of it like lenses. The lenses we see through all look different based on our experiences, our environment, our relationships, and the systems we grew up in (culture, gender, race, family, class, what media we ingest, etc.). The truth is that these systems were created by humans who were maybe doing the best they could, but who also had unprocessed trauma and lenses of their own. So we inherit the pain people before us never processed. We create or have rules created for us, and these can become stuck ways of being in the world even if they are no longer working. Sometimes they are logged as truth simply because they are what we know/are familiar with. And often we aren’t given the tools or awareness to know that we are allowed to critique them. Who might you be if you grew up in a different context?
Who were you before you world told you who to be?​
These internalized messages or lenses can end up causing us a lot of pain, self-doubt, anxiety, and depression--impacting our bodies and our relationships to self and other. They can cause us to lose curiosity, to stop trusting ourselves, and keep us from living lives that feel authentic and meaningful. If it is true, that all of these lenses are learned, then perhaps it’s also true that we can unlearn them. That is where I come in.
Together we will become conscious of these stories–naming them, finding their edges, honoring the ways they have kept you safe in the past, and inviting curiosity around how they are working for you now. This can be painful. You might discover younger selves that need nurturing, reparenting, and grieving. We will practice this together and make space for messy emotions that may arise.
Often I will use somatic practices here, helping you return to your body and be with the felt experience of emotion. It is common for protective parts of us to start showing up as we do this. These are parts of us that kept us safe and connected when we were young. Lovely parts of us that got stuck in rigid roles. Sometimes these look like performer/people pleaser parts, numbing/avoidant parts, etc., we will practice meeting each of them with compassion and curiosity. As you practice being with your own pain, you may notice a softening. My hope is that you will find that your body is a safe place to feel the full range of human experience. That your body is your teacher and partner in this life, and is always nudging you toward healing and wholeness.
Eventually, we can start reimagining, wondering, trying on new ways of being, and developing new stories. Right there in your heart and body there is a wisdom all your own. This is something to nurture, tend to, to practice, and remember, again and again. You don’t need to fix, perfect, or perform in order to be enough. You are already whole and wise and loved and through our journey together, I hope you’ll believe that to be true.
Common stories you might believe about yourself...​
​Emotions – We often quickly learn if it is good or bad to have emotion and if we are allowed to share those with others. I've noticed men are often shamed for the softer emotions (fear and hurt), whereas women are shamed more for anger. ​
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Success – I am only enough if I make a certain amount of money, have a certain kind of job, ultimately I am enough based on what I do.
Body Image – I am only enough if I look a certain way. Often this can lead to disordered eating.
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There are numerous others but hopefully that got you thinking! All of these messages are about our worth. We are wired to survive and part of survival is finding ways to feel loved or to belong. Because of our desire to belong, we learn quickly what makes us and others "in or out." My hope/deep belief is that when we no longer have to cut off/hide parts of ourselves in order to belong we also stop requiring that of others. We no longer believe that only some of us can be "in," and we make stories that are broad and beautiful enough to hold us all.